Lost in the Plains

This has been one of the more graceless exits I have had to endure. I haven't been able to even make another entry to my old journal. Maybe it is just a problem on my end, but it doesn't make sense for it to be 'my fault.

Spent an unproductive day trying to copy and paste my old entries somewhere, but that was a mess! Asked Nebraska if she would do it for me again, after I had sent her a note saying that I would get to it. It was neat seeing what I was writing down, even when no one was reading, my style of writing was the same as it is now, just as frank and open.

Reading some of the entries made me laugh, ache a little bit, and reassess what I am trying to accomplish. Not exactly going to pick up where I left off in journaling over there, but I am going to take a new tack and address some of what is scraping through my mind.

As I have owned my rakish past, I do feel entitled to ask a question, and that is 'Why?' Why is it that I have to take such a big risk, make such a big committment in my relationships?

That is a million dollar question, why is it that so much is required of me to make a coupling with someone? It is more galling with someone who I know, which is part of why I thought it was a good idea for me to 're-date', as they would know what they are getting into, you dig me?

My new 'break-up song', "Jude Law and a Semseter Abroad", by the Brand New didn't come to me by accident. The song I hear is a story about a cat who does all that he can do to make his girl love him, but she won't, instead going after someone else.

Or in Nebraska's case, conceptually speaking, a something else.