HARD AND FAST

WE KNEW THE ENVIRONMENT

DB over at Vagabond Journeys put up a great entry about change, and the sentiment echoed a feeling that has been with me ever since I came to 'self-awareness', that change is natural and unavoidable. You may as well get over it, and get to the getting. After all, no one knows what the cro-magnon said to the last neanderthal, but we do know what HAPPENED to the last neanderthal, don't we?

Change has become a new process for me. It now has become something that I can't take for granted that I will be able to make the adjustments to where I am as comfortable as I once was able to do. My little 'light infantry' days are perhaps over, where I could simply mobilize and set down pretty much anywhere and quickly deploy. That is why it is going to take a lot more time as well as thought, relatively speaking, for me to get somewhere else, and I know that there is are the 'known unknown, and unknown unknows' that Rummy once spoke of, that are out there, waiting for mistakes to be made.

That is why I view this as a test, because if I can manage this, then I know I will be able to manage larger things that are most definitely to come.

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY MOMENT

My new title is going to be a work in progress. I like what is up there, but I wonder if it is a bit pretentious? Still don't have any idea of how to include links to it, even after Betty sent me an email about that kind of stuff ... I am going to re-read that and enlist Beth over at 'Nutwood' (is that still her blog's name?), is she doesn't mind catching me up to speed.

Had to change the name of this, because Nebraska was bothered by the name, possibly fearing that it was sacrilegious. Initially, I was heated myself, because I took her view to be presumptive, as well as contradictory. Then, I sat down and got over myself, because when I tried to look from another perspective, I could see where someone would come to a like conclusion. Then most importantly, she is a friend and I had to think about whether or not it was worth hassling a friend, possibly even LOSING one, over something that I could change.

Even as fundamental to me the disagreement was, I had to weigh whether or not losing a friend over someone else's words, was what I wanted to say about MYSELF. The change wasn't about just making Nebraska comfortable, though for that, it played a primary role in the change. But I had to go to sleep with the person that had quite possibly offended a friend over something that I have done, something that I could possibly changed.

Taking personal responsibility has been a weakness of mind, and I have committed myself to working at that, shoring up that particular problem. As a result, I think that I can 'take' what others say, and what others do, because they would be hard pressed to make me feel something that I haven't felt already. This was a chance for me to put that to use.

Nebraska offfered to help me with getting my archieves over. That is HUGE, and it is bigger than my keeping some words that have meaning to me. If someone that I care about, someone I truly LOVE finds something I do or say to be a problem, then I have to look inside myself and find the justification. If it is not there, then I make the change ... not to difficult, right?